BEFRIEND YOUR BOSS

 Sometimes the hardest  friend  to make is the one that  signs   your paycheck.  We  all  want  to have a great  relationship  with  our  boss,  but  we  need  to  straddle  the line between being  a proper  employee  and a total brownness.

  There’s  actually a right  and a wrong way to befriend your  boss and it starts  with thinking  of your boss as  a person rather than as an authority figure. Truth be told, your boss wants to like the people he works  with just  as  much  as  you do. Developing  a friendship  with  your  boss is  simply about learning  to interact  on a mature  social  level. You can do that, can’t you?

Want to do

  The best way  to connect  with and befriend  your boss  is  to show  him  that you’re  a good guy on a personal  level, and not just on a professional level. Managers promote  people  who they know  and like, which makes developing  a friendship with your boss a smart career move.

Partner up outside the office

  It’s unsurprising that we,  as  people, tend to gravitate toward other people who enjoy the same or similar things. But  of you really want to sweeten  your  boss up, find a way to partner up with him outside of the office.

  Whether it’s on the racquetball court, the shooting  range  or the golf course, cubicle  dwellers  naturally  come  together  when  there is a common activity  that bonds them outside  of the office. Engaging in friendly  activities outside the office with your boss are also nice  ways  to build   a  relationship that  isn’t based on authority, but rather  camaraderie, like the rest of  your friendships  were made.

Get into his world

  Talking about  office  politics  and  customer  complaints  only  reminds  your  boss  that  he is  your  boss  and not your  friend. But  when  you  talk about  more  personal  topics, like  his  favorite  sports  team  or  a great  vacation  spot, you're  talking  like  you're speaking  to  your  friend, not  your  boss. Try  to direct  the conversation  toward  topics  that  feel  personal  and  natural,  not forced  and  political.

 Ask about the small stuff

 While you may not  really  care that  your boss' kid is turning 5, your  boss does. You don't  need  to be a total kiss ass, but  mentioning  the small items  -like birthdays, his  favorite  sports team  winning  a game  or  when  you read about his  alma mater in  the paper-really  makes  a difference. This is, after all, how  friends  interact.

 The key  to  the  game  here  is a natural  approach, so a casual  mention  during your  conversation  makes sense. But dropping off a big  present  for  his  kid may lead him to think you're  trying  too hard  or  gunning  for a  promotion. It's easy  to lose  your  intent to befriend  your  boss  with  a bad delivery.

Meet their spouse

When your boss wants  to complain, he complains  to his spouse. Se being  one of  the few  people that your boss' spouse  knows, and  likes, can help  you a ton, especially  if the complaint  is about you.

 You'd be  surprised how  powerful of  an  ally  his  spouse can  be when she is  on  your  side, and what  a bitter enemy  she  can be  when  she isn’t. Any first-person  contact  is meaningful,  whether  it’s a 10-minute  conversation  at the  holiday  party  or  an  after-work  meeting  for  dinner and  drinks. Make  sure  you  create  an alliance  with  the real decision  maker.

  What to avoid

As you’re becoming the fraternity brother  that your boss never had, it’s easy to get caught up  in the relationship. You want  to be Dr. Evil’s smooth Number Two,  not Mr. Burs’ butt-kissing  Smithers.

  Don’t be  the shoulder to cry on

  Maybe  your boss  is having  a tough time at home and he just needs someone  to  confide in. A simple confession may turn  into a more serious reliance  on you to be an emotional crutch during his hardship. Be extremely careful  that personal matters only go so far. Remember, you want more Dr. Evil and less Dr. Phil.

 Avoid employee gossip

It may feel great that your boss  is willing to  gossip to  you about the lousy  job your coworkers are doing, but it’s not information you really want  to know. Heaven  forbid that you find  out your coworker is about to be fired. Now you’re sitting  in a totally uncomfortable situation.

  You’re better off nipping that problem in the bud and  changing the subject  as quickly  as possible. Once word gets out that you have an inside track on how people are performing, your coworkers will start alienating you like they do your boss, principally out of fear.

 Don’t reveal everything

 Your boss wants to believe that when you show up for work every day that you’re ready to do your best. The last  thing he wants to hear  is how you barely slept last night because you were out all night partying with your college  buddies. As a general rule. Don’t tell your boss anything you wouldn’t be willing to tell your grandmother.  After all, she still thinks you’re a saint, right?

 Know when to say when

  Going out and having a drink with your boss   can be a great way to loosen up and get personal; however, going out and having 10drinks and turning into Frank the Tank is just a really bad idea. You can let loose all you want around your coworkers at an office party, but the last impression you want to give is your frat-boy radix  in front of your boss.

 Be cool friendly guy

 The best of both worlds is to be friendly while still maintaining your cool. As soon as you start treating your boss like a man crush, you’re going to create an uncomfortable  situation for everyone involved. 

PART 2


Resources: http://www.askmen.com

LEAVE WORK AT WORK

Leave work at work and spend time with your family
It’s a fact, we live to work in a society that puts great emphasis on material things. The need to acquire new stuff has transformed the typical nine-to-five job  into  a hectic, all-day, every-day task in order to survive. With such high demands for time from our employers and our own families, it’s not surprising that a majority of guys just don’t know when enough is enough and are immensely overworked. But you don’t have to be.
  As the man of the house, you have a responsibility to provide for your family and to be successful, but that doesn’t mean working your way into an early grave. Finding a balance between being successful and knowing when to be a regular Joe-Scheme is something that we all struggle with.
  No matter what your job or position in life is, the desire to give it your all and push your way to the top  is incredibly strong and often causes other aspects of our lives to suffer; mostly our personal affairs. Not only do we work projects home, we also tend to bring home our emotional luggage. It’s this stress, anxiety and often anger that could potentially be the most damaging.
  So, how do you leave work at work? Take a look at the suggestions below and remember the words of Rita Mae Brown; “Don’t trade the stuff of your life---time---for dollars. That’s a rotten bargain.”
How to keep work at work 
Unwind before you get home

Your coworkers are constantly coming to you for projects and deadlines that have long since passed, your inbox is  overflowing with external and internal demands –you feel like you’ve just arrived at the office and yet, it’s suddenly 5:00p.m. You arrive home to more questions from a probing partner, who is only curious about your day ( insert explosion here).
  Bringing work-related stress home can be detrimental to any relationship, be it with your child, friend or significant other. So, if you’ve had a particularly stressful day at work, take the long way home. Use that extra time alone to cool off; listen to your favorite music, scream if you have to…just get it all out before you walk through the front door. Home is not the source of your stress: it is your escape, your retreat. Keep it that way.
Boss people at work, not at home
 Just because you hold power at the office doesn’t mean you can start bossing people around in your off hours. While taking initiative and being assertive at work are great leadership qualities, doing so outside the office will lead to confrontation.

   No one likes to be told what to do, especially not in an environment where everyone is supposed to be on a level playing field. Don’t bring your power trip home. Think of home as a chance to relieve   yourself of all responsibilities and worries associated with being in charge. Let your friends and family share in the decision making; they’ll appreciate your cooperative attitude and you’ll have a chance to relax.
Leave gossip at the water cooler
   No matter how structured or professional a corporation is, drama often bubbles to the top of many conversations. From employee spats to secret love affairs (come on, you know they happen) stories and rumors circulate and we often can’t help but get caught up in the messy details. No matter  how juicy the gossip, try not  to bite into it too hard.
   Getting yourself tangled up in office drama is not only detrimental to your work ethic, but can also cause your work  life to overflow into  your personal life. Sure, you can have professional friendships with your coworkers and chitchat during office hours, but when that big hand hits 5:00 p. m. and you walk out those office doors, leave it all behind.
How to get your life back
Disconnect-completely
 There are particular jobs that require open lines of communication via Blackberries, pagers and cell phones; however, if those devices are simply being used “just in case,” then turn them off when you’re not at work. Your eagerness isn’t a sign of determination, rather it shows a lack of focus on your personal affairs. Knowing when to turn it off is crucial to a health, well-balanced life.
 If you must work at home, dedicate a specific area in the house; somewhere you can be undisturbed in your “work mode.” Make sure to put a time constraint on your homework, as limits must be set for working after hours. Do not let work encroach upon your personal life. Bringing your laptop to bed to finish a few reports is just wrong—and it’s not the type of gadget she was hoping for, I’m sure.
How to take personal days and when to say no…
  Take personal days
  Now, we are all entitled to a number of “personal days” throughout the year.  Take them. Personal days are not a code name for “ catch-up days” designed to let you sneak home with a company laptop and catch  up on all the things you’ve been unable to complete, free of  the distractions at work. And they are most definitely not   “I’m still available, if you need me just call or e-mail me” days either. You are unavailable—make sure everyone knows that fact.
  These days are designed to give you a break; to let you recharge and rest so that you are ready to tackle the chaos of work once again. We all need downtime, no matter how successful or otherwise, so stop fighting the urge; grab a cold one, unplug the phone, turn off the PC and the cell, and kick back.
  Know when to say no 
There comes a time in every man’s career when the limits of his workload are pushed. No matter how sympathetic your employer seems, he will inevitably try and have you do as much as is humanly possible. The key word there is; humanly. We are only human and there are limits to the amount of work we can accomplish. It’s OK to say no and turn down proposed projects and assignments.
 Saying no doesn’t mean you’ve failed your company or your life. Saying no means you’ve taken control of the situation and realized your limitations. Juggling is one thing, being pelted with random flying balls while trying to catch them is quite another. Know when to tell the difference and put a stop to the madness. An overload at work means an overflow into personal time, so make sure your nine-to-five window and not one minute outside of that.
All work and no play
 Being overworks will turn any man into a very dull, stresses-out, crabby, snarky, emotionally unavailable boy indeed. Keep in mined that it’s not laziness or lack of motivation that’s being promoted here, far from it. What’s being suggested is that you maintain a healthy balance between work and your actual life. It is a hard concept to grasp, but work is not, not should it ever be, your entire existence.

  Letting work control your every move in and out of the office is a sure sign of weakness, if you want to be the man of the house, show how manly you can truly be by leaving the office where it belongs and spending quality time with your family and friends during your off time.

PART 1

Resources: http://www.askmen.com