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There’s actually a right and a wrong way to befriend your boss and it starts with thinking
of your boss as a person rather
than as an authority figure. Truth be told, your boss wants to like the people
he works with just as
much as you do. Developing a friendship
with your boss is
simply about learning to
interact on a mature social
level. You can do that, can’t you?
Want to do
The best way to connect
with and befriend your boss is to
show him
that you’re a good guy on a
personal level, and not just on a
professional level. Managers promote
people who they know and like, which makes developing a friendship with your boss a smart career
move.
Partner up outside the office
It’s unsurprising
that we, as people, tend to gravitate toward other people
who enjoy the same or similar things. But
of you really want to sweeten
your boss up, find a way to
partner up with him outside of the office.
Whether it’s on the
racquetball court, the shooting
range or the golf course,
cubicle dwellers naturally come
together when there is a common activity that bonds them outside of the office. Engaging in friendly activities outside the office with your boss
are also nice ways to build
a
relationship that isn’t based on
authority, but rather camaraderie, like
the rest of your friendships were made.
Get into his world
Talking about
office politics and
customer complaints only
reminds your boss
that he is your
boss and not your friend. But
when you talk about
more personal topics, like
his favorite sports
team or a great
vacation spot, you're talking
like you're speaking to
your friend, not your
boss. Try to direct the conversation toward
topics that feel
personal and natural,
not forced and political.
Ask about the small stuff
While you may
not really care that
your boss' kid is turning 5, your
boss does. You don't need to be a total kiss ass, but mentioning
the small items -like birthdays,
his favorite sports team
winning a game or
when you read about his alma mater in
the paper-really makes a difference. This is, after all, how friends
interact.
The key to
the game here
is a natural approach, so a
casual mention during your
conversation makes sense. But
dropping off a big present for
his kid may lead him to think
you're trying too hard
or gunning for a
promotion. It's easy to lose your
intent to befriend your boss
with a bad delivery.
Meet their spouse
When your boss wants
to complain, he complains to his
spouse. Se being one of the few
people that your boss' spouse
knows, and likes, can help you a ton, especially if the complaint is about you.
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You'd be surprised how
powerful of an ally
his spouse can be when she is on
your side, and what a bitter enemy she can be
when she isn’t. Any first-person contact
is meaningful, whether it’s a 10-minute conversation
at the holiday party or
an after-work meeting
for dinner and drinks. Make
sure you create
an alliance with the real decision maker.
What to avoid
As you’re becoming the fraternity brother that your boss never had, it’s easy to get
caught up in the relationship. You
want to be Dr. Evil’s smooth Number
Two, not Mr. Burs’ butt-kissing Smithers.
Don’t be the shoulder to cry on
Maybe your boss
is having a tough time at home
and he just needs someone to confide in. A simple confession may turn into a more serious reliance on you to be an emotional crutch during his
hardship. Be extremely careful that
personal matters only go so far. Remember, you want more Dr. Evil and less Dr.
Phil.
Avoid employee gossip
It may feel great that your boss is willing to
gossip to you about the
lousy job your coworkers are doing, but
it’s not information you really want to
know. Heaven forbid that you find out your coworker is about to be fired. Now
you’re sitting in a totally
uncomfortable situation.
You’re better off
nipping that problem in the bud and changing the subject as quickly
as possible. Once word gets out that you have an inside track on how
people are performing, your coworkers will start alienating you like they do
your boss, principally out of fear.
Don’t reveal everything
Your boss wants to
believe that when you show up for work every day that you’re ready to do your
best. The last thing he wants to
hear is how you barely slept last night
because you were out all night partying with your college buddies. As a general rule. Don’t tell your
boss anything you wouldn’t be willing to tell your grandmother. After all, she still thinks you’re a saint,
right?
Know when to say when
Going out and having
a drink with your boss can be a great way to loosen up and get
personal; however, going out and having 10drinks and turning into Frank the
Tank is just a really bad idea. You can let loose all you want around your
coworkers at an office party, but the last impression you want to give is your
frat-boy radix in front of your boss.
Be cool friendly guy
The best of both
worlds is to be friendly while still maintaining your cool. As soon as you
start treating your boss like a man crush, you’re going to create an
uncomfortable situation for everyone
involved.
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